I shall contradict myself now; thoughts only have the meaning that you give to them, so be careful about any faulty beliefs you may hold. Forget the denial question for a minute. They are all examples of intrusive thoughts. Even though you will have both obsessions and compulsions, the thoughts, doubts and worries that you will be obsessing over, will be in relation to your sexuality. Many of us grow up, come out and have wonderful and happy lives. You are just afraid you might be and are reacting to the thought as if it is reality.
It does not have to originate from a thought, it can come from a feeling.
HOCD – How do I know I am not gay and how do I overcome HOCD
HOCD stands for Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and it is characterised by having unwanted thoughts about your sexual orientation. But it is really not like before. Living in a homophobic culturenot being exposed to homosexuality, and being surrounded by members of both genders may encourage latent homosexuality. Mindfulness will teach you that these are just thought processes, and that you do not have to pay attention to every thought that pops into your head. My aim for this page is to help you to see that having unwanted thoughts about your sexual preference, thoughts, that at the moment you have no control over, may be a symptom for want of a better word or OCD or intrusive thoughts.
This does not mean that you want a physical and romantic relationship with them, but if you have a faulty belief system, it will certainly cause you difficulties. HOCD is characterised by a nagging doubt. But as I said, the thought or original feeling is harmless and perfectly normal. HOCD in itself, is not recognised as such, in tools we use to diagnose conditions. This is a mistake. But that is where the work lies. Without having a good understanding of how your brain works, you might not fully understand what is happening and therefore find it hard to dismiss thoughts relating to HOCD.